Hope somebody will read this scribble ‘cause it’s my last chance to find friends in this lousy world. A couple of days ago, I tried to get acquainted with a girl but she shot me down within 5 seconds. Do you know why? Because I’m FAT!! Yeah, thanks for reminding me of it, young lady. But there’s nothing I can do with my weight – I was born like this. Ever since I was little, others ignored me. It wasn’t interesting to play hide-and-seek with because even a blind person could see me behind the tree. If there was an anonymous club for fatties, I’d join it! I’d come and say: ’Hi, I’m Ash Morgan. I teach Italian and I’m fat as hell!’
Ash Morgan 